Saturday, April 11, 2009

my little sister and i

aspirations for 2011

My inner geek has been out in full force in the recent couple of weeks. It might be the alienation talking but I find nothing better to do then read or play computer games. Who can really blame me? It seems better to live in a fantasy world then to live in the real world. Now that I'm finished University I'm supposed to be an adult and be responsible. Though I'm still sleeping on a couch in my brother's flat because I don't have a job and can't afford my own place. Its not from a lack of trying on my part.

No one wants to hire someone who doesn't have any experience in their field and how am I supposed to get experience if i can't even get an opportunity to work in my field. I e-mail 20 odd companies every week looking for an internship and most can't be bothered to reply let alone give me one! Its not like they need to pay me! internships are usually unpaid, so what's the big deal!!! 2011 is supposed to be different, but I keep having this nagging sensation that it won't be. I'll be a waitron for the rest of my life and will have waisted my degree. What's the point of having a degree and owing loads of money in loans if you can't do anything with it. Every time I get a letter from the university its to tell me how much I owe and how much my interest is. I'm not sure how they expect me to pay it back if i can't even get a job. I'm hoping if i ignore it enough they'll lose my address and stop sending me bills. One can still hope, can't they? Maybe I'll write the greatest novel of this century and I won't need a job. I'll just bum around. Though I haven't worked on my novel for over a year. Not a good sign. Its this idleness. I need someone to nag me to do it and at the moment I have no one to.

2011 has to be different. I need to get a job in my field, get my own place, work on my novel, learn to play guitar and cure cancer. hmmmm... maybe curing cancer is out of my league, but the others should be easy in comparison, no?